Previously, in our consideration of the love that Paul exhorts in Romans 12:9–21, we considered the holy nature of Christian love. Love abhors evil and clings to good (v. 9). In v. 10, we see a second characteristic of Christian love: It is humble. “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour.”
This imperative, short but potent, reveals that Christians exercise love in the context of community: toward “one another.” Paul’s focus is on how Christians live out this humble, honouring love in the context of the local church, viewed as the household of faith—a spiritual family.
The Distinctiveness of Humble Love
Paul’s charge to love with brotherly affection isn’t given in isolation; it is part of a larger call to Christians to live distinctively. Christians are to imitate God as beloved children, walking in love just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:1–2). This kind of love is alien to the world because it is rooted in the grace believers receive in Christ.
Christian love—both the love that Christians receive from the Father and the love they show to the Father—is distinctive. God loves his children with a particular love, which he lavishes on them through Jesus Christ. And God’s love for his people shapes the love they have for him in return, shaping the way they live, especially in community.
The Community of Humble Love
We live out this distinctive love in the community of the local church. The New Testament describes the church as a household. Early Christian communities often met in homes, and God often saved whole households (Acts 2:39; 10; 16:15, 30-35; Romans 16:15; Colossians 4:15; Philemon 1-2). This naturally fostered a sense of familial love and responsibility among believers.
The notion of God’s people as a family is not only a New Testament phenomenon. Amos 3:1-2 refers to Israel as “the whole family that I brought up out of the land of Egypt.” The church continues this theme as the new covenant family of God. In modern times, this perspective can be lost. Churches become institutions rather than intimate fellowships, and believers view themselves as individuals rather than members of a community. Romans 12 calls us back to a foundational truth: We are brothers and sisters, and we must live accordingly.
What, then, does this community-driven life look like? It is holy (v. 9b), humble (v. 10), heartfelt (v. 11), hopeful (v. 12), and helpful (v. 13). In a word, it is “genuine” (v. 9a)—without hypocrisy. The church must be a place where sincere, sacrificial, and joyful love is practised.
Ephesians 5:1 calls Christians “dear children” of God, and 1 Timothy 5:1–3 instructs believers to treat one another as family: fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters. Despite varied personalities, problems, pursuits, and perspectives, unity in diversity is not only possible but commanded.
Differences in opinion are opportunities to demonstrate humility and love. Divisive issues in churches often stem from self-centeredness. Humble love refuses to let non-essentials divide. It is characterised as “brotherly love” and seeks to “outdo one another in showing honour.” It is not primarily concerned with being served but with serving others.
The Help for Humble Love
God does not leave his people on their own to figure out what humble love looks like. He offers at least two great helps.
First, we have his command, as recorded in Scripture. The text before us is not optional; it is a direct call to die to self and prefer others. If we believe the Bible, we will obey the Bible. We must prefer others before ourselves. Such humility removes the entitlement that so often causes strife. Obedience to Scripture reveals true faith.
Second, he has given us Communion: the Lord’s Table. This is his gracious tool to humble his people. First Corinthians 11:24-25 reminds us that Christ’s body was broken and his blood shed for us. Honest reflection on the cross obliterates pride. Communion is not just a ritual—it is a corrective lens through which we see ourselves rightly. It softens hearts and reconciles differences. In this way, the Lord’s Supper becomes a healing agent for communal disunity.
The Challenge of Humble Love
Romans 12:10 is more than a memory verse. It is a mandate for Christian living in community. To love one another with brotherly affection and to outdo each other in showing honour is to embody the very heart of Christ.
The local church is the training ground where we live out the graces of grace: holy, humble, heartfelt, hopeful, and helpful love. Only when we express this kind of line in Christian community can we export it to the world. This begins with a deep understanding of the cross, from which all humility flows.
Reflect on Christ. Understand who you are in him. Then live it out. “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour” (Romans 12:10).